Alice in wonderland
by account permanently out of use
Summary: Yaaaaaaaaaay! It's updated with HallyChris fluff and a party and... Meiuan being a perv (as usual...)!
1. down she goes

Well, I've got writer's block, I'm reading shadow hearts fanfiction (Which all I've read so far are good!) I'm typing a fic, which I don't have a clue to call it, and now I have Alice in wonderland stuck in my head because I got it in the library. All this has lead up to me typing this fic. (It's Alice in wonderland with a sprinkle of beauty and the beast) And now I'm typing this up to help me get rid of it from my head. I never wrote the original Alice in wonder land, just to let you know I'm not Lewis Carroll in disguise (For one thing, He's actually talented, unlike me…) and I don't own the copyrights to Shadow hearts, Hell, I don't even own a copy of shadow hearts, my friend lets me play it on his PS2, but I won't name him because he doesn't like that…

First off the cast is as follows….:

Alice is played by……ALICE!

The beast is, naturally….Yuri!

The queen of hearts is none other than….Margarette

The white rabbit is…Keith

Tweedle Dee is played by little Sharon 

As Tweedle Dumb is played by Joshua (Although neither of them are idiots, they ARE kids..)

The mad hatter is played by….Edward!

The march hare is played by….Koudelka!

The dormouse is played by….(No shit Sherlock) Halley!

The Cheshire cat is really….Zhuzhen

The card soldiers are now….the London rats.

The caterpillar is Chris!

And finally we have dumped James as well….umm….ahhh…..I think….nooo….ummm. Oh I got it !He'll be the guy who has to paint the roses red! (No offence to any James fans out there (If there is any…) But I hate him! And I'm Irish!)

Alice in Wonderland.

-Chapter one-

Alice kissed her parents goodbye and walked off to her first exorcism. She carried a little basket that held her cupcakes, a bottle of strawberry juice and her bible and book of the flesh. On the way however, she got lost and had to rest. She rested in the hollow of an oak tree. She ate her cupcakes and Drank her Strawberry juice and then took a nap. When she opened her eyes she saw a little white rabbit hopping amongst some daisies. She walked over to it but it hopped away. She ran after it but it hopped into a shadowy place so she wasn't able to find it. She walked back and got her basket. Inside the hollow, she saw the ground glow with an eerie light. She walked in to have a closer look and fell into a hole that came out of nowhere. She clutched onto her basket as she tumbled down a weird passage filled with grandfather clocks and chairs and pictures of a handsome young man. Alice tried to grab one of the latter, but with no luck.. she tumbled and tumbled for what felt like hours until she hit the grass land with a thud.

"Ouch!" She squeaked as the sound of giggling came from behind her.

Two little children scurried out in front of her.

"Hello miss ma'm!" The boy said, "I'm Joshua!"

"And I'm Sharon." The girl added with a curtsey.

Alice smiled, "Hello, my name is Alice. I'm very pleased to meet you!"

The two children giggled, "You're nice! Say would you like to play?"

"Alice smiled, "I would like to, but I have to find a way home, Mama and Papa will be worried if I don't go home soon."

"Aww.." Joshua whined, "That's a pity, but, we'll help you with some advice.."

"Yeah!" Sharon said happily, "We'll tell you a bit about Wonderland!"

"Wonderland?" Alice asked rising to her feet.

"Yes wonderland is where you are!" The children spoke in unison.

"The big red Castle is where the queen of hearts lives. But she's very, very bossy!" Joshua said.

"And the creepy black castle is where a demon lives… We all live in fear of him!" Sharon said.

"The Plunkett family are a bit mad….but they are nice, if you want to go there, follow the tea cup road." Joshua said pointing to a path made out of tea cups and saucers.

"Chris might tell you a bit about Halley, because they are boyfriend and Girlfriend…" Sharon said.

"Zhuzehn will leave you confused, but he knows a lot about the demon!" Joshua said.

"And that's all we know!" they both said in unison.

"Thank you for your hospitality, I'll keep all you advice in mind." Alice said beginning to walk off. "Goodbye Joshua and Sharon, enjoy your game!"

"Oh and Alice!" Sharon called out, "The only way is the queen's way, don't make her mad or she'll do something nasty!"

"I'll keep that in mind." Alice said back as she walked down the path.

Joshua looked at Sharon when Alice had left.

"I liked her. She's nice!"

= END OF CHAPTER 1!

Now that wasn't too bad… Well next chapter Alice will meet the caterpillar….namely Chris!


	2. brainwashed, brainlost

Here's chapter two. Yet again I have to say I am not Lewis Carroll, so therefore I am not the writer of the original Alice in wonderland. Furthermore I do not work in midway games, azure corp., Sacnoth/SNK, and any other company involved in the making of shadow hearts so I do not own any aspect of the game.

Alice in wonderland

-chapter two-

Alice ad been walking down the path Joshua and Sharon had showed her for quite some time until she came to a beautiful flower beside a lake.

"Who are you?" a quiet voice asked. Alice looked into the flower and saw a young girl, about fourteen or fifteen years of age laying back in the centre of the flower.

"My name is Alice Eliot. Are you Halley?"

"No I certainly am not! I am Chris! Halley Plunkett is my BOYfriend!"

"Oh! I am dreadfully sorry, but when Joshua and Sharon said his name it sounded like a girls name back from where I'm from." Alice said backing away from Chris. "So, what do you know about the Plunketts? And what can they tell me about this place?"

"Why, all you need do is walk behind my flower, and go inside. Koudelka will tell you all you wish to know!" Chris said. "Halley is very sleepy though, so be careful not to wake him up, he's a walking fault line when he's upset."

"okay, thank you miss Chris." Alice said happily, "goodbye."

"Buh bye!" Chris said.

Alice got ready to knock on the door as a feminine voice called her in. Three people were sitting at a table. One of them, a teenage boy was fast asleep on the tea cosy.

"Please be quiet, Halley was up all night with Chris." The woman said. She was sitting on a comfortable chair sipping tea and eating a slice of strawberry cake.

The third person was a tall, blonde haired man, running around.

"Why is that man running around?" Alice asked. "Has he forgotten something?"

"No…"The woman said, "My name is Koudelka."

"I'm-" Alice was cut off.

"Alice Elliot." Koudelka said. "I know."

"So why is the man running around like a mad man for?" Alice asked. "Did he lose something?"

"That man is my husband, Edward Plunkett," Koudelka said, "He did lose something."

"What did he lose?" Alice said getting more inquisitive.

"….His mind…." Koudelka said. "Find it yet dear?"

"No…" Edward sighed. "I remember taking it out of my head to wash it like you told me to, but now I can remember where I've placed it!"

Have you tried checking the sink Edward?" Koudelka said smirking. She waved Alice over to her. "Don't tell Edward this, " She said whispering, "But Halley and Chris were up all night hiding it on him.."

Suddenly Halley woke up and began singing: "Twinkle twinkle Kiethy bat, you annoying flying rat, you had made the queen cry, now she wants your ass to fry, twinkle twinkle Kiethy bat, never piss off Margarete!" With that, he fell asleep again.

"Do you know where they hid Edward's mind?" Alice asked Koudelka.

"Yep!" She declared proudly, "Where he least expected to find it!" Koudelka whispered into Alice's ear " They put it back into his head while he was asleep."

"Hey I've found it!" Edward said happily.

"Where was it mister Plunkett?" Alice asked him.

"It was in my head all along!" Edward said proudly.

"How do I find the Queen?" Alice asked.

"Why you just have to jump over our back wall and you're there!" Edward said sitting beside Koudelka. "Isn't that right dearest?"

"Thank you." Alice said, "you have all been most hospitable!"

Halley woke up and noticed Alice. "Oh hi! Would you like some tea and sandyawnmiges?"

"Um, I'm fine, but thank you for asking. I must find the queen."

Alice left and climbed over the wall where she saw a man painting the roses on a rose bush.

=End of chapter two.

Next time we can read all about James going through the most degrading cameo ever!


	3. Queen Margarete

Oh my, today's date is :18 Jul. 03 !! And my big brother is stealing my computer (For the weekend) so I'm typing this in the short time left!

You know the situation by now, If I owned these things, I wouldn't have bothered typing these and putting them on fanfiction.net…

Alice in Wonderland.

-Chapter three-

Alice walked up to the man. He _seemed_ to be of high standing, so why was he painting roses….?

"Why are you painting the roses blue?" Alice asked.

"Because that's the queen's favourite colours, and I've gone and planted the white ones instead!" He replied.

"Who are you, and what are you doing this work for? You look like a bishop or something!" Alice said.

"My name is James O'Flaherty, and I am a bishop yes, well until _she_ ordered me to become the gardener…" He said. "Now if I don't paint the roses blue before she comes, I'm in deep trouble…"

Alice was about to offer him a helping hand when a vampire suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Hello, I'm Keith. James! I came to warn you, Margarette is coming!" Keith said.

"KIEEEETH!" A woman's voice boomed, "Where are you!?"

An attractive young woman walked into the garden where she saw James kicking the blue paint out of the queen's view.

"What are you doing O'Flaherty? Oh……! Painting the roses blue are we? I warned you, one more slip up and I'd set the GUARDS on you! GUARDS!!!"

"Yes your highness!" Joshua, Sharon, Chris and Halley said saluting their queen.

"Take this waste of space and feed him to the plant." Margarette said, "Elaine has been so lonely nowadays she'd need a new 'playmate'…"

"What do you mean?" Alice asked, "what do you mean when you say 'playmate'?"

"Elaine is a soulless monster, and she is also able to become a psychopathic killer plant, and she can't get more fun out of anything but torturing people!" Margarette replied.

"Why you-" Alice began when James shook his head.

"No miss. Don't, it's not worth it.." James said forlornly, "And I do appreciate your concern, but…I don't even know your name…"

"It's Alice." Halley said getting a firm grip of James' torso and dragging him off.

"Well Alice, why don't you join me in watching Elaine kill this worm?" Margarette said, "Oh wait, I've just insulted the worms…"

"You, you can uh.." Alice said, gathering up the courage to say something that she would never have said before. "You can stuff it! Queen of HEARTS my ASS!"

"GET HER!!!" Margarette screamed making Halley drop James and chase after Alice.

Alice's eyes went wide as she told her brain to get her legs moving in order for her to run. Alice swirled around and began to run as fast as her legs would take her. She ran up to a wall and climbed that, then she ran into the forest. Deeper and Deeper she went until she hit the ground, out of breath. Out from the bushes a smile formed.

"Strange, I've seen a cat without a grin, but I've never seen a grin without a cat!" Alice said remembering a line she read in a book.

"What?" An old man said popping out of the bush. "And Who are you?"

"I'll answer that when you tell me who you are!" Alice said getting cockier and cockier.

"I am Zhuzehn Liu. And I am the shanghai adept." Zhuzehn said with much pride.

"Alice Eliot. Pleased to meet you." She said Regaining her pleasant attitude again. "Some children say you know the demon who lives in the black castle…"

"Yes I do." Zhuzehn said. "His name is not the demon however…"

"What's his Name?" Alice asked. 

"Yuri Bort Hyuga."

When she saw the man who said it and she fainted.

"Aww, why does that happen everytime I meet girls?"

=end of chapter three.


	4. love at first sight?

I was told to continue, so continue I shall. I don't own Shadow hearts and I also don't own the original version of Alice in wonderland. Now that that's finished, let's continue from where we left our heroine. 

Alice in wonderland.

-chapter four-

A male voice asked Alice "Are you alright?" 

Alice slowly groaned as she came to. "Yeah…" Her eyes slowly opened as she saw a dark shadow loom over her. "Agggggggggggh! Monster!" She whacked Yuri across the face with her bible.

"Hey! You try to be nice and ya get a whack in the kisser by some stupid book!" He said rubbing his bruised face.

"I know all about your evil scummy kind!" Alice replied.

"HEY! This is a curse put on me by four dumb masks ya know!" He looked at Alice with a hurt look in his eyes.

Alice snorted, "Yeah right, don't bother trying to stop me from dispelling you."

Yuri grunted and got back up on his feet. "Fine then, I know when me and Death emperor are not wanted!"

Yuri stormed off back to his castle sulking when Koudekla telepathicly told him to protect Alice from the impending doom about to be inflicted upon her. Yuri rose to his feet clutching his head with a boney hand. That's when a scream pierced the silence of the woods.

Yuri looked out into the clearing when he saw him capture Alice….

= End of chapter four.

Well now our li'l 'demon' friend will have to rescue Alice, but the question is, will she accept the rescue or will he have to knock her out. And another question is, What is this plot line about? Well all I can tell you is, the next few chapters are about Yuri, and when he does save her, they have to beat the bad guy, and that's all just the first part of this story!


	5. a possibly stoopid chapter

I'm back in hell, oops I mean school, and so I decided I would type as much of this as possible so that I can Post it up for you all to read. Amn't I sweet….thought not myself…Well you know the story by now, I'm too poor to have ever owned the copyrights to the stuff I type about. 

Alice in wonderland.

-Chapter five-

Yuri trudged down the road as Halley was sitting on the park bench practising his imitation of Roger Bacon. Yuri gulped and walked over to the teenager.

"Uh, Hi, um, have you, ahh, have you seen a man wearing a black suit and top hat carrying a beautiful young woman wearing a blue outfit, with white hair around here?" Yuri looked at Halley expecting him to scream.

"Why Yuri, did you screw up again?" Halley asked, "And the girl's called Alice."

"Well, thanks for the name, and yes, just as your momma told me to look after the girl, she's kidnapped." Yuri looked at Halley, "So, are you not frightened of me?"

"Nah, yer a wuss compared to my parents, they could slay you in the blink of an eye if you tried to hurt me." Halley replied. "Besides, I know all about the curse, and I was actually told to wait up and help you."

"Got any information to help the search?" Yuri asked. 

"Well, the guy you described calls him self Roger Bacon, but that's not his real name at all, it's Albert Simon, he's a warlock who worked for a crack pot called Dehuai-" Halley was cut off.

"Dehuai? That's the guy my dad was talking to my mom before he…." Yuri looked up at the sky, "Do you think this has anything to do with a Taoist ritual?"

"I dunno, maybe we should ask Zhuzhen, after all, Dehuai _is_ his brother." Halley said, "We should be careful though, Simon is a dangerous man. And a former cardinal at that."

Yuri nodded, "Let's go…." The two ran off to Zhuzhen's hut where he supplies all your needs, Beer, Medicine, Porn and Viagra, but underneath all of those household goods he supplies one other thing, beneath the shop is a special temple where he practices his magic…For not only is he the Shanghai Adept, and the happy shop keeper, but he is the Wizard of ……..Mianus!! (note to those who live in the town Mianus as featured in Jackass, I apologise for any offence caused by the use of your town's name in a humorous way…but you have to admit..You _ARE_ begging for it!)

We're off to see the Wizard, the homosexual Wizard of Mianus! 

= End of chapter 5.

Well that was a little unusual in it's content. Chapter two was the best so far I think, well Part one is an unorthodox way of typing a good fic and also a kinda parody to Shadow hearts, but only in this one we're not taking the piss outta it. Shadow Hearts is too good to be slagged, Final fantasy deserves that privilege! (oooooooh BURN!) Well next chapter is all about how the dynamic duo handle a fate worse than death, being stuck in a room with a gay guy who's into their type!


	6. Assembling the army and many quick and c...

Right, the last chapter might have sucked, but I'm putting a load of humour in here because I can't be serious if my life depended on it! You know the story by now, I'm Lewis Carroll and I work for sacnoth! (NOT!) This chapter will be the only chapter so far in P.O.V. style, don't forget to tell me what you think, I can always improve on what you dislike!

Alice in wonderland.

-chapter six-

[ Alice ]

I looked up at the mangy ceiling as a sigh passed my lips, I was wondering about how I will escape. Well, Margarete would never in her life come and save me after my little outburst, and Yuri was mad at me, Zhuzhen wouldn't be able to take on a whole army of monsters and the others didn't know, Koudelka may have known, but how was she going to get my only hope, Yuri to save me?

[ Yuri ]

I looked back at Halley as we silently agreed to face the nightmare of being around Meiuan voluntarily. I didn't know what I was getting myself into and I didn't know why I was so willing to save that crazy little bitch who tried to kill me. She was cute yeah, but that couldn't make me love her…right? I wasn't sure but whatever it was, I was willing to go into the depths of hell for her…

[ Alice ]

That creepy old man, Dehuai was ogling me again. He was trying to run his metallic fingers along my leg but I resisted him, I ignored him, I did all I could just to stop him, and the ritual he was about to perform. Not that it would be much use, but it would buy me some time, Koudelka told me Yuri was coming, with a few reinforcements, and they would try to save me in time. I thought back to my home, the little cottage in Zurich's suburbs, the little farm, I loved the thought of going to sleep in my own warm bed, and my mother and father…

"Alice!!!" My father's voice screamed, I turned my head to the left and saw him being cornered by a bunch of wind shears, "I tried to save you when I saw you fall down the hole and I followed you, they caught me, and I'm sorry, goodbye Alice, tell your mother I loved her if you survive!"

"Father!" I shrieked as I watched him being ripped to shreds.

[ Halley ]

Yuri looked as terrified as I was, Meiuan slowly moved closer trying to kiss us. Zhuzehn finally called us in when Meiuan was about to give us a striptease. Yuri looked relived, I have to admit, so was I! Zhuzhen's shrine looked amazing, there was all these foreign items, some even from earth that I never could imagine. I toyed with a strange looking weapon as Yuri talked to Zhuzhen. The weapon was strange indeed, it was a bit of timber in a 'y' shape and a band of elastic was tied to each end of the two twigs that branched out, in the centre of the elastic, there was a small bit of a leather patch, and beside the weapon on the table was a small pouch of marbles. "Hey Zhuzhen, what's this?" I asked as Yuri scowled at me for interrupting, He seemed more intimidating as a death emperor.

"Oh that's a sling shot, you put a marble on that leather patch, and squeeze the patch from the outside, you pull your hand back, still holding onto the patch and when your arm feels tense, let it go." Zhuzhen replied. "You can have it if you want."

I picked up a marble and did as instructed, as I pulled back the elastic, I said, "Thanks, I like it." And then let it go sending a marble flying into the back of Yuri's head. He looked back at me growling angrily as Zhuzhen laughed, "Hey, you're a natural at that kiddo!"

[ Alice ]

"It's all your fault!"

The words rang about in my head as the image of my father's death replayed in my head.

"It's all you fault."

Bacon's voice cut through me like a knife as a guilty pain wrenched at my innards. 

"You should've died a long time ago, but your parents ran away from wonderland, to the realm we couldn't get you from unless you were willing, just to stop the inevitable…"

I looked at him, his cold blue eyes cut into me like a freshly sharpened knife, the words he just spoke driving their way into me like daggers, was it true what he said, was I from wonderland?

"They thought that if you were bethroved to the King of Diamonds that you would live because he would protect you…"

What was he on about, the 'king of diamonds' my fiancé, I couldn't make sense of it, who was he…

"But what they didn't expect was that his Family, his father, and his father's father and so on like him were _demons_!"

I continued the staring contest with Bacon as he went on.

"That family curse was a perfect tool to get him out of the way, once you were gone, I carried out the curse, in case of your return, so that you would not be with him and to think it worked as well!"

Yuri! I was engaged to Yuri? I didn't quite know what to say… "Tell me what he really looks like." I choked as Bacon sneered with pride. He and Dehuai had power over me, this wasn't a wonderland, this was hell. They could do as they pleased with me, I just hoped Yuri had forgiven my misjudgement and was coming to save me soon.

[ Keith ]

Margarete and I listened intently as Zhuzhen and Yuri and Halley told us of what was about to befall our homeland. Margie looked at me, "Well, what do you think Keith? Should we help 'em out?"

"Yes." I said, looking at my wife with a serious look on my face.

[ Koudelka ]

There wasn't much time, I could feel it. Edward did his best to look after me as the amount of energy on the psychic plateau increased. I could feel the seraphic radiance and I could feel it being born inside of Alice's soul. She was about to be drained of her soul energy in order to bring forth the powerful beast. King Yuri had to hurry, otherwise the woman he was destined to marry might not be able to survive. I knew it was too late to stop the ritual, it had already begun. I just hope that they all can stop the seraphic radiance from killing all who inhabit here…. But then again, Yuri's father, King Ben had tried the same thing Yuri was about to do and lost his soul, Zhuzhen had killed Ben as Yuri found out earlier today, as Ben had made Zhuzhen swear that if he lost his soul to the seraphic radiance Zhuzhen would kill him to protect Yuri and his mother. Yuri was heartbroken, but after a while he calmed down, and then as they had tea here, Yuri had let Zhuzhen know, he may have forgiven him, but what he did was not forgotten. 

[ Keith ]

Margarete was quiet the whole journey, I could tell she wasn't very willing to help Alice because of the way she had screamed at her earlier, but I had to admit, she had deserved that bit of an argument. Meanwhile, I had decided to help Yuri and his friends out because of what was at risk here. I often took a quick peek at Yuri's face, he was lost in thoughts that he couldn't clear away, he was probably wondering why he felt the way he did about Alice even though according to him they had only met for five seconds in which she attacked him with a book. He was hard to read, but the black scales were making it harder than it once was.

[ Margarete ]

"Hey sonny boy get the head out of the clouds!" I said briskly, "We're saving your girlfriend here!"

Yuri snapped his head back to me with an upset look on his face. "She's NOT my girlfriend. That damn woman keeps telling me to save her and hurry up in doing so!"

Halley was about to attack Yuri with his slingshot when Keith changed the subject. "So, found out a way to break the curse?"

"No." Came Yuri's sad reply. He was really upset over something. I personally thought it was love at first sight for him and he's moping around because she wasn't into demons.

"You like her don't you." I decided that I wasn't going to let him out of the subject.

"…..No I don't…." Yuri's hesitation in the answer was what I was looking for, he did love her only he was too embarrassed to admit that he fell for a complete stranger. "I don't even know her full name."

"It's Alice Eliot." Halley said, "She was over at my house for lunch yesterday."

I looked at my husband nervously, "What do you think love?"

"Madame, you think too highly of me, I am still a little rusty." Keith replied, "I think we should have brought god boy along for the trip, we could have used him as fodder. Or even an escape goat."

I smirked, I didn't know anyone who knew James that liked him. Even Elaine wound up detesting him because of his obnoxiousness. Even Ireland disowned him as he had dissed the plans for the rebellion in 1916.

[ Alice ]

It hurt so bad, the sucking feeling runing through my body, I felt my life force fade away as the tower was beginning to overflow with my energy. I began to sob as I began to wonder…was Yuri really coming to save me after all?

I'm beginning to regret jumping to conclusions, and after hearing about all the good Yuri had done in his life, I realised that he was a good man, and not a demon as they made him out to be, and now as I hung slowly becoming limp on a rack I began to sob heavily as I called out his name. Yuri I'm sorry, come and save me…

"It's such a shame you have to be wasted like this, if you weren't the key I would've had quite a lot of fun with you dearest." Dehuai had a sick sense of humour, and that feeling was enhanced by him stating, "Well maybe I could play with you after you've done your job.."

Play with me? This narcaleptic bastard had to be killed, before it was too late!

=End chapter six

Well that was different wasn't it, and as for Alice saying Dehuai was a bastard, put yerself in her shoes there and then see if you would still be all cute and non swearing! As for you nt liking it, if you ask sweetly, I will change it using any helpful tips you put in the reviews. It was a long one wasn't it? Well, that was a little mre serious than I expected it to be, and I was quite shocked to realise I had done something completely different to what I had planned! The next chapter or maybe two will end part one, then it may take a while but I will start part two!!! Trust me, if this isn't making sense to you now, you'll never get the plot!


	7. the 'calm' before the storm

Okay, first off I noticed some errors in my fic in the last chappie, It's necrophiliac not narcoleptic. Narcelepsy is where you are always falling asleep I think… I may have that ya know. I'm always passing out. Well anyway, I thank you for the reviews, and I will continue this, I think I might up the rating too because of Alice's foul mouth and Dehuai's plain weirdness. Well, I think it's pointless to put a disclaimer in all the chapters but seeing as this is the Shadow hearts selection I think I will aim to please. I suck at bloody roar fiction so I won't bother typing anymore of them. Well ya know who owns Shadow Hearts, Koudelka and also who owns the original Alice in wonderland. And they certainly aren't me! Oh and I've decided until all the group is assembled, I'm doing P.O.V. style!

Alice in Wonderland.

-Chapter seven-

[ Yuri ]

The souls in my mind were growing weary as I began the ascent of the tower in which Alice was captured. I couldn't stop thinking about what was happening in my mind along with my souls I, I couldn't explain what was happening to me. I was worried about the girl and I was hoping I wasn't too late, but my fusion souls were screaming out to me and I wish I wasn't in my death emperor form so I would get up to the summit of the building a little easier, the monsters were attacking me more than if I was a human. They knew I was trying to beat their master and they weren't having it. Yet I still felt a feeling of doom lurking above…

[ Alice ]

It was only an illusion, that was good, my father lived. I didn't really care about him or mother at the moment, I was worried about me and how I was being robbed of my life force and how I was being used to summon a monster. Bacon watched me with that false smile upon his face, watching in amusement as I was slowly dying.

"Oh poor sweet Angel, are you getting sleepy?" He cooed sarcasicly as I growled at him.

"I swear once Yuri gets here he'll-" I was cut off by Bacon laughing insanely.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear girl, don't you mean _if_ he comes here..?"

I growled a little more hatefully. Hate is such a powerful word, but I felt it for him and Dehuai, I felt it in every fibre of my being, every part of me inside and every bit that had been drained thus far.

Dehuai walked in with a smirk on his face. I looked at him with an intent glare. I hoped if the monster was summoned, that it would turn on him. The sucking became a little stronger and I grew more tired. My eyes began to close as I heard a familiar voice. I didn't know who it was but it was so familiar…..

[ Yuri ] 

"Alice!" I yelled as Dehuai stood in my way. Her eyes were shut tightly. "Alice!"

Dehuai blocked my path. I tried to get past but he blocked each move I made. 

"Get up!" I shouted.

"No point _your highness_ you're too late, her energy has filled the tower." Simon said, his eyes gleaming with sadism. He stepped back and vanished. I called out for him to return but he never did. Dehuai also teleported out of the room, which left us no ther choice. We let Alice down and spoke to her.

"Yuri, you came!" She sighed, "I'm sorry for being so nasty."

"I understand, it hurt me, but, I never had any better treatment since…"I said. "You're dying."

Margarete looked at Alice, "I'm only doing this as a favour to Yuri. I haven't forgiven you for last week."

"She was really upset I must admit, she had liked you when you first met, and then you yelled at her because she was doing us all a favour." Kieth added, "You'd best apologise and start afresh."

The room shook as the souls in my head reacted violently. 'here, take my power, you need your strenght more than I do…'

In a flash of light, Alice was healed and the pain had subsided. I looked up at the door that Dehuai had vainshed near.

"I'll get you, you bastard, if it's the last thing I ever do!" I hollered up to Dehuai. "And that's a promise!"

= end chapter seven.

Well the big show down is about to commence. 


	8. Of love and war

Okay, so the last chapter wasn't as good as the others, but this will have cut out the fighting scene and has now moved on to the moment Dehuai falls to the floor. Oh, and this is the end of part one…Part two will begin with Yuri's memories….You know the score, I don't own jack shit…..but sacnoth owns the game characters, and Lewis Carroll owns the title…Halley, we're not in wonderland no more….Yes, I'm fucked in the head…how long did it take you to figure that one out…At least I'm not as fucked up as my sister….that's right Kitty, you know damn right! She and I will be doing a collaboration next fic we do, is it okay to put koudy fics in the shadow hearts section seeing as Shadow hearts is technically a sequel to Koudelka?

Part two might be a different title, but for convenience, I'll be keeping it in here, in this story. Oh well…

Alice in wonderland.

(chapter eight)

Dehuai hit the ground panting. He looked up at Yuri, spitting blood he snarled spitefully and growled, "You bastard!"

Yuri's hollow eyes began to fade away as they were replaced with the most beautiful, unusually coloured eyes as he was slowly freed from the spell Simon had placed on him. Dehuai was dead soon as Zhuzhen kicked him a few times.

Alice fell to her knees, she sobbed softly as Simon reappeared. Yuri walked over to her and hugged her. "It's okay, hey now, quit crying…" His voice was changed from rough and screechy to a soft warm, deep voice that made Alice look right into Yuri's eyes. "I saved you like that lady Koudelka always tells me to. And I forgive you about the whole trying to beat me up thing…" He cupped Alice's tearful face in his hands, "Besides, you're too cute to be angry with for long…" He moved in closer, "And the fact I liked you from the moment I saw you…" No sooner had he finished what he was saying when Alice's lips had pressed themselves against Yuri's. Moments later the kiss was broken and Simon floated above them laughing. 

"Oh, love at first sight? How humorous." Simon laughed again, "So you broke the spell, so what. You still failed, as I shall finish what Dehuai started!" Yellow couloured energys began to lick around the tower as the jets of red lightning spewed from the laser cannons.

"……..YURI NOOOOOOOOOO!" Alice screamed.

"Hey kiddo get back here!" Margarete yelled.

"HYUGA!" Zhuzhen hollered.

"..Oh…my….god…." Keith said in awe as the seraphic radiance was awoken.

"Wait! No Yuri stooop!" Halley began to run after Yuri who had begun sprinting towards the seraphic radiance.

"Heh heh, let's get a little more friendly…" Yuri leapt at the creature and tried to fuse…

"Bwahahahahahahaha! I shall take my absence now….I'm sure We'll see each other one day….Have fun!" As Simon flew off, a rock hit him in the head, "EEEEEEEK!" And with that he vanished.

"Yuri nooo!" Alice cried out as Yuri failed to successfully fuse with the demon leaving him under the control of the thing he had tried to control himself….

'his soul is fading….Yuri no…..'

Yuri's talisman lay upon the ground glowing a blood red….

Wonderland began to be destroyed by flames created by the seraphic radiance…everybody but Alice ran off to help, she walked over to the talisman and picked it up looking at what was once Yuri. It returned her gaze as Yuri's aura was extinguished, and then vanished in a blaze of light.

"YUUUUURIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!" Alice screamed as tears began to pour down her soft, pale face.

__

'…..It seemed as though hell was unleashed upon earth as the flames killed many people, and destroyed most of the planet. I joined my friends and their families, we tried to help as many as we could, but eventually we had to go, the world's life was extinguished and we soon were on our way to my home. I'll never forget the happenings of that week in wonderland, nor will I ever forget the loss of the stranger I had fallen for, for the loss was so grave, and I had been the one who made it possible…Now I will devote my life to finding Yuri, and taking him home to be by his side…'

=end of chapter eight, part one…

Sob…how emotional, I sucked at writing that didn't I? Oh well, the next chappie is set six months later and Alice has been made a little different by me, for starters, she's much more stronger, she's lost the cutesy innocent little girl look and now wears rather than the little blue number, she is wearing a pink bustier, a long blue cloak, and a leather mini skirt with black boots. She also wears not only the crucifix, but she has Yuri's talisman around her neck for safe keeping… Oh and she's wearing cool black leather wrist bands, like what Brendan Fraiser wore in the mummy…(something Eddie wishes he had been wearing in Koudelka) and knows loads more spells…. 

Well, progress shall be made….one day…oh feck it, I might post chapter nine up the same time as this…

As for where the characters will be, Alice, Zhuzhen, and Halley will be in Prague. Keith and Yuri will be in Bistritz. Margarete will be in Rouen. Koudelka, Edward, Chris, Joshua and Sharon will be in London. Roger Bacon and Albert Simon will be in Aberystwyth. James will be the one in Calios. A for our favourite soulless woman, Elaine will be on a deserted beach in Hawaii, chilling out and having a nice holiday until I decide that it's time for her to be in another fiction…

Elaine: ::lying on a deck chair sipping a drink in a coconut shell:: Ah, life is sweet without _that _tosser around…If I had to choose between Patrick and James again,.., I'd shoot myself in the head…

Don't worry Elaine, I've bring you back with a soul and you can enjoy playing with Yuri and Alice's grandson…

Yuri: You're sick! ::Anime veins::

Amn't I just…? ^__^ ::cough cough::That's why I got off of school to write this. Anyway, I'd like to thank those who have given me reviews, I'm glad that you like it, and those of you who don't, well, I prolly woudn't like _yours_, so…ahem, Archcelestial, keep writing more chapters to shadow souls, and don't give up on daddy I love you, it's got the potential for greatness you know, oh, and for writing Beaty and the beast in the shadow hearts section, I've got nothing but love for you! Keep the great work up everybody and remember, life isn't complete without a good James bashing ficcie, so lets have more of 'em please!!!


	9. Part 2, in the real world now

Oh crap, not another pov style narration!!! Like I've said, and no longer need to say, I **_don't_** own the rights to Alice in Wonderland, Now, as I must say always, **_I don't own the rights to Shadow hearts or its predecessor, Koudelka._** However much I want to….Onwards trust fic Thang!!!

Alice in Wonderland

_Chapter nine._

[ Blue tower, blue castle – Bistritz. Yuri's mind ]

The man kissed his wife slowly and tenderly as a young nine year old ran up to them.

"Daddy! Daddy! It's snowing!"

"What? This early?" Ben looked at Yuri, "Anne, do sense anything unusual?"

"No…" Anne said confused, "Do you?"

Ben nodded, "Dehuai is up to something. But the princess of the city of light has been taken by her parents to earth. So how-"

"Daddy, mama, Who's this Dehuai person you talk about all of the time?" Yuri tugged on his father's sleeve.

Ben looked at Anne, "Listen, I'm getting Zhuzhen, don't expect me back…I love you. Yuri, your mother will tell you all you need to know, goodbye son, I love you too, and make sure you protect your mom for me."

"Dad, will you be back?" Yuri asked, "I'm a boy so I can look after myself, but mama, she's a girl and so she cries and misses you when you are away. So will you be home for her?"

"I don't know, but I'll try my damndest. Goodbye, Yuri…" Yuri held onto his father.

"Daddy, please be careful!" Yuri looked up at Ben, "Swear to me you'll be careful!"

"I'll try, that's all I can promise…."

[ Prague – Alice's room, the inn ]

Alice looked up at the roof thinking about what her mother said. 'you must sacrifice something precious to find him…'

What was that sacrifice? Hadn't she sacrificed enough? Her delicate fingers ran along the silver studs on her pink velvet bustier. "What am I to sacrifice?" She got up from the bed and put on her long black boots. "That's what I want to know…" She grabbed her blue cloak and walked out of the room. "Ugh, I need a drink!" 

[ outside ]

Halley looked up at the sky, "I wonder what's keeping Keith so long? Margarete will be pissed if he doesn't hurry…"

"Right…." Keith's voice said, "Thank you, my castle has been well kept by you, now I must find my friends and then we can get Yuri back so I can meet up with my wife in Rouen."

"Yes sir." Another man's voice said. "Will you help with the mayor too?"

"Yeah, I can do that." Keith said. 

Halley walked up to them, "So what're ya talking about?"

"Oh, I've found Yuri." Keith said, "Where's the rest of the gang?"

"Oh Zhuzhen's out for a stroll and Alice, well, I haven't checked where she is." Halley looked at the man who promptly left the two friends to talk.

[ in the bar beneath the inn ]

"Oh, just an orange for me." Alice said, "Hee hee, I'm into the hard stuff already…"

"Heah, the sky at sunset was rilly pretty wasn't it?" Yuria sighed, "So, any closer to finding lover boy?"

"Not that I know of," Alice said, "Oh sometimes I think he'll just walk on through those doors and kiss me as soon as I run to him and wrap my arms around his masculine but gentle shoulders."

"That Yuri does sound like a honey, I wish I could find one of them types around here…" Yuria looked up at the ceiling, "oh, I fell a little tipsy…"

"Don't you mean _feel_?" Alice corrected, "You should go have a lie down."

"Yeah, you're right, see you around Alex…" Yuri fell off her bar stool.

"Goodbye Yuria.." Alice said helping Yuria off the floor.

"Hey Alice!" Halley and Keith called.

"What?" Alice said walking Yuria outside.

"I found him." Keith said, "In my castle in Bistritz."

"Blegh!" Yuria had just vomited.

"Oh crap…" Alice groaned, "Third time this week!"

[ Blue tower, Blue castle – Bistritz - Yuri's memory ]

"Mommy, what's happening?" Yuri looked up at Anne.

"Yuri hide now!" Anne pushed Yuri into a concrete bunker.

"But!" He looked at her, "But what about you?"

"I'll manage." She said smiling, "Now hide!"

Booming sounds were heard, the army of monsters were coming closer.

"Goodbye sweetheart!"

"Mama WAIT!!!"

= End chapter nine.

Ow, my ass is numb. I heard from Rex and my sister that the message board on Neoseeker has got a new mod, and they have closed the general discussion thread down. Is that true? That's nasty! Well, I'm sure if ye who are members on Neoseeker give the mod a run for their money, I'm sure that you'll soon teach the person that spamming is what yer all about!

Yuri: Right on!

Alice: ::Starts waving pom poms around::

Halley: You all are complete freaks…

Kitty (my big sis): Here foxy foxy foxy! ::Runs after a fox in an attempt to catch it and make it her pet::

Ugh, note to self, change DNA and find NORMAL ppl to live with…..

Fox face: ::Walks in::

Kitty: ::Notices fox face:: You'd make a good pet I reckon!

Fox face: ::Screams like a girl and tries to dodge Kitty::

Yuri: That's it Kitty make him sweat!!!!

Yup, change DNA!!!

Keith: I wouldn't mind doing that, have you _seen_ my brother?

? The Darkness' reject member? The guy who has no taste in clothes? The Valentine of Shadow hearts two?

Keith: That's the one…

Poor you….

Keith: Hell yeah….lets swop DNA!

Nope, yer alright….

Keith: Awww nuts! I've gotta change my identity before the game's released!!!

Ah, no worries, you'll be pitied….Well gotta piss off now! Sis be wantin' the computer!


	10. bestial necrophilia

Well, thank you to greyfriars who has been wonderfully supportive and has boosted my confidence as a writer, I like Yuri's outfit in SH2, sis and I drool at the thought of it. Sis told me that while in the library recently, (They have the shittiest computers in the world) she started a thread to replace the general discussion topic and has put it so that you HAVE to be random to be on topic. That should show that Chibon bollox. I'm gonna tell Rex about that to see if that will get him off his silent protest. Anyway, Elaine has met her new husband… she's happy with what she was given too…

Elaine: Hee hee, I'm soooo tipsy Ben!

Meet Benjamin Hyuga the third, Yuri's grandson!

Ben: Hi! ::pours more wine into Elaine's glass::

Oh and Archcelestial, thank you for continuing those two BRILLIANT fics for us, now I'm worrying for little Anne! Hee hee, sis said she has been rilly nasty to the mod too….Go her….I'm gonna be doin' a comic in school!!!! And sis says she's not going to school next term so she can concentrate on computer studies and art and maybe she'll write the roger bacon fic for me…and the Mummy-Koudelka-Shadow hearts crossover that Rex has been whining at us to do for months now after reading the first draft that I wrote in school one day. Well, enough with the spraff, here's another chilling episode of…..

Alice in wonderland

_chapter ten_

[ blue tower, blue castle – Bistritz – Yuri's memory ]

"Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yuri's voice was growing hoarse as he shouted and cried for his mother.

The tears had begun to sting his skin as he sobbed and choked more and more.

[ blue tower, Blue castle – Bistritz – the real world ]

Alice watched as a crumpled up Yuri lay on the floor sobbing and screaming for his mother. Keith and Zhuzhen were fighting the mayor and Halley was trying to get in touch with Margarete. 

"Mohommeeeeee….." Yuri wailed as Alice approached him a little bit more. "Nohohohohoooooo….."

"Yuri, Yuri please…." Alice was moving closer trying to bring him to reality, "Yuri please it's not real…"

[ Blue tower, Blue castle – Bistritz – Yuri's memory ]

The blood was everywhere as the demons began feeding on Anne's torn up corpse, Yuri had been forced to see his mother's death and now was forced to watch her killers fight over their trophy. He felt something dark and vengeful boil inside of his veins. 'Yes Yuri, fuse, become one of them use their power to destroy them…'

"Shut up…" He growled as the voice began to pound about his little skull.

'Come on Yuri, harmonixise, be as they are, be strong like your father, avenge her death as your father would….'

"I can't I don't know how!"

'Let the rage consume you, let it flow through your very soul and let it take over your very body, let all the fear, hate and pain overwhelm you and let the urge to kill take over reason and morals….'

"but dad said I wasn't to-"

'look at them Yuri, look at them little prince, look what the did to your mother and now what they're doing to her body!'

"But they're, I –"

'They're mating with her corpse.'

"Mating? What's that?"

'Trying to make a baby. They're taking advantage of her Yuri, your father will hate you if you don't do it boy…..'

"I, I, I –"

'DO IT!'

Yuri watched as the monsters grew more perverted with Anne's body and he felt the darkness begin to burn him from the inside out. 

'All you need to do is let the darkness take you.'

"Mama!' Yuri shrieked at the top of his voice as the darkness boiled out of him, his body slowly changed and his soul energy was waning……

He charged at the nearest monster screaming hatefully.

[ in reality ]

Yuri ran at Alice screaming whilst transforming into death Emperor…..

[ Nemeton Monastery, Aberystwyth – Wales ]

"How dare you." Roger's voice had lost it's normal tone and was a low deep growl. "You impersonated me, and done unspeakable things and…." Rogers voice cracked as the went on eventually fading out as Albert stood infront of him smirking maliciously.

"You, low life scoundrel you, you, you, BASTARD!!" Roger trembled as his outburst echoed through the walls of the decrepit monastic site. "How **_DARE_** you!"

Albert looked at his well manicured hands as black bolts of energy began to swirl around his fingers. "Oh well teacher, You taught me well, such a pity you will die now…that's right, I know a spell to kill the immortal!"

Roger stiffened his back as he hid his hands behind his back smirking also, his brown eyes were closed to slits and he gathered a powerful hex in his concealed hands. "Oh well Albert, there's only one way to prove you're right in saying so. Go on, hit me, I'm a willing experiment…"

"Ah, I liked that about you, you'd do anything for science….prepare to meet your maker!" Albert launched his attack and Roger used an amazing amount of speed that he never had displayed before and dodged the attack, launching his counter attack as Albert looked around in shock. Albert hit the floor.

"You all seemed to believe that I was a decrepit old fool, just because I look like a baked owl, didn't you all learn that looks can be deceiving!" Roger looked down at Albert, "You never were a good student Albie, never really heard what I said did you, otherwise you would have known through the emigre ritual the person who had received that ritual would have inhuman strength and agility."

Albert spat out blood and proceeded to speak, "You, were always one over me, teacher, that's why I envied you….I'm willing to die, you were a worthy executioner…I hope one day we'll cross our paths again…."

With that, Albert had died. Roger sniffed slightly and proceeded to drag the corpse out side for a burial.

[ Yuri's graveyard ]

Alice looked at the gates again. "Now I get it, I'm to sacrifice my very soul!"

The masks laughed. Alice looked at them and yelled, "Shut the Fuck up!" She opened the gates and walked over to Yuri. He was digging his own grave and a man in a fox mask was telling him to dig deeper. Alice tried to stop him but he didn't listen, he was convinced she was his mother and the other man was yelling at him to dig deeper. 

"Hey, don't you dare- OW!" The man punched Alice in the face and Yuri yelled, the man hit Yuri and Yuri began to fight back……

=End of chapter ten.

Well, Roger was ooc for sure, but hey, he was a powerful warlock in his youth and those who have fought against Elaine and Mammon would agree about the point he made about inhuman strength and Agility, look at Elaine she could walk on the roof in a crab position and was able to bend like rubber, and Mammon, god was she tough! So I figure Roger could do likewise only he has a soul and can't be killed. 

Yes Yuri's memory of his first fusion was a little sick with the bestial necrophilia and the voices in Yuri's head and the blood and all ; I think that was a angsty chapter, but tell me, am I losing my grip as a writer yet or am I getting better, I only want to make you, the people who review happy, so if any part of this upsets you just tell me and I'll change it, that way I become a better writer and you get a say in what you read. Yes, I'm the pushover and Kitty's the rebellious one… lucky me….

Keith: ::Still searching for a plastic surgeon who can alter your DNA::

Jochaim (Spelling? Name?): ::Still being fashion impaired::

Oh yes, me and sis have been working on a game-

Kitty: What do you mean WE?

Well, sis has been working on a game, and it's kinda linked with shadow hearts so I might type a fic on that one day, but first we have this to finish. Before I go away, part one is dealing worth the Shanghai type thing, part two is the European type thing, part three is well I don't know about that but the last part will be a build up to the fic with the characters from sis' game. Oh and Greyfriars, sis and I were on neoseeker together one day and I saw a quote of yours, "Ya payre mental radge! YA BAAAAM!" What does that mean, is it an insult (bam being the main word for that), a complement, or something to shot out when excited? What ever it's used for, it sounds feckin' cool.


	11. acceptance

Oooh yes, here's the end of part two, yup I know this was short but hey next part is maybe just as short but deals with a very big day for a certain couple. Hey don't complain, I'm in a rushy here. Sis says that she's making a joint e mail account and then she is going onto Neoseeker under a new name and I'm joining her too! Maybe…. Sis say's I'll help in the battle against Chibon…Yes, she's nuts. No, not in a Meiuan way although sometimes I begin to think otherwise…. Don't think I put a disclaimer in the last chappie did I? Oh well we all know who doesn't own what…needless to say, I'm not the owner of the best game in the universe, sis and I don't even have a copy, we steal control of the PS2 in Rex's gaff to play it when we visit, tight squeeze his room, very small…

Alice in wonderland.

_Chapter eleven_

Yuri watched the man panting as they both got up from the ground, Alice looked at Yuri asking what this was about. 

"He's the embodiment of my curse, I call him Fox Face." Yuri said looking at the other man, "He's the bits of me I shut out."

"What do you want from him Fox Face?" Alice said bravely coming closer to the other half. "What is it you hunt Yuri for?"

"To be complete." Came Fox Face's reply, "To be accepted. To be one…. The masks made me hunt him because of the malice that he possesses once he slays a monster, I was to kill him once the gem in his talisman went red, but now I, I don't feel it in him anymore."

"What?" Yuri said, "I don't feel no different!"

"It's something only me, the masks or the talisman can sense, and you no longer are afflicted…but you…." He turned to Alice, "What did you promise them for Yuri's soul?"

"My own." Alice said, looking away from Yuri, "He sacrificed his soul to save me so I'm returning the favour."

Yuri felt a lump in his throat as Alice turned and faced him, "don't be yelling at me, don't be panicking, I knew what was at stake here but I didn't care, now all I want from you is to be as one with yourself." Yuri looked at Fox Face and pouted.

"What?" The other half said.

"Take the mask off, I wanna know what I'm accepting." Yuri said.

"I can not in front of the lady." Fox Face said motioning to Alice, "she'll have to turn around and close her eyes."

Alice did as asked and Fox Face put a gloved hand to his mask. Yuri's umber eyes widened as his face met, his own face. "Do you accept me now?" Fox face said in Yuri's voice, "Now that you've seen who I am."

"I still don't know really…"

"For fuck sake Yuri, I've sacrificed my soul for you and the LEAST you could do is say 'I accept you' to yourself!" Alice's voice shouting expletives was the biggest shock to Yuri ever as he quickly muttered "I accept you."

"What?" Fox Faced asked, not hearing the first time.

"I, ACCEPT, YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!" Yuri yelled when Fox Face dissolved into a fine purple mist. Yuri looked at Alice as he panted, "He's gone now Alice, You can look, let's go home."

"Why'd you do all of that for me in Wonderland?" Alice said gripping his arm, "Tell me."

"Dunno." He shrugged, which seemed to annoy her more, "I liked you I guess, maybe from the moment I saw you…." Yuri looked at Alice, "And then after you were taken, I couldn't stop thinking about you and I felt a pain in my heart thinking about you suffering and then gahhh….."

Alice's eyes watered, "Yuri….", Alice hugged Yuri, "Do you know what was promised when we were children, in wonderland, just before I was taken away to earth?"

Yuri looked thoughtful, "I was told when I was of age I was to marry the princess of…uh, where was it?…Oh! The city of light!"

"I was told that I was born in wonderland by Simon, and then once I came back here to earth, I asked my Parents and they said that was true, and that I am, the…princess you were to marry…"Alice looked up at Yuri, "So, what d'ya say?"

"Marry you?" Yuri looked shocked, "I'll need to think."

"Come on." Alice gripped Yuri's arm and they went back to reality, "I have something to give you."

= end chapter eleven, and part two!

Yay!!!! Yuri and Alice could get married!!! Who wants to bring back NC-17s? The comedy selection in there was sooooooooooooooo hilarious! I fink that the fourth part will be the birth of their kids, then next the grandkids then the great grandkids…. Yup, that sounds soooo tantalising. But hey, I'll leave it to you, you tell me if you wanna hear that spraff!


	12. Meeting Arcaine Olga

Well, I've fixed up my fic to a certain extent, and now I present to you, part three! God it feels good to be back. Eircom wouldn't work properly the last night we were on so sis couldn't make the account. We also were on a great search for the official shadow hearts website, so it could go on the favourites list and we could print the picture of Yuri……….Huh? Oh, and Um, today we go to Rouen, then we go to meet the parents, and then we plan the wedding, and then to end this part, we get married!

Yuri: What?

Ugh, hush you our favourite bishounen…..

Yuri: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT!?!?!

Alice: You heard the girl snuggles!

Yuri: Ah-lice….I **TOLD** you _not_ to say my nickname in public.

Snuggles? (Snicker) Hey everybody did ya hear THAT!!! SNUGGLES!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHOOOOHOOOOHOOOOOOO……ahem…gwafaw gwafaw….hooohie… Well, away we go!

Alice in wonderland.

_chapter twelve_

Alice walked around Rouen looking for Margarete. Halley and Zhuzhen were trying to get Yuri to have a bath as he said 'ah naw, yer awright!'

Keith was walking here and there, looking for signs of explosives. Alice went down the alley beside the chapel and bumped into a strange old woman.

"Who are you?" Alice said holding her book up defensively.

"My name is Arcaine Olga, and I am your worst nightmare…." She replied launching herself at Alice.

"Bombs away!" A woman yelled from above sending a wave of bats at Olga.

Margarete landed infront of Alice sporting a set of fangs like Keith. "Sorry I wasn't here sooner, but Keith and I were talking and well, he…" She motioned towards her fangs, "We decided it was the best idea, we never want to be apart in _that_ way."

Olga tried to launch an attack at Margarete but she made a neat little ball of water in the palm of her hand and threw it at Olga like it was a grenade. Olga hissed vengefully and vanished.

"Come on, we've got a new start to finish!" Margarete and Alice walked off. Alice saw a rather cleanYuri leave the church. "Well hello!" Alice grined.

"you're harder to kill than a cockroach!" Margarete shouted, "So how you been keeping?"

"Busy." Yuri replied, "Now that we've found her Alice, can I meet your parents so we can get the wedding done?"

"Wedding?" Margarete asked, "Who's getting…..oh…"

"I was about to tell you. Oh yeah tell him Margie!" Alice lookoed from her friend to her fiance.

"Look!" Margarete said pointing to her fangs, "Waddya fink?"

"An improvement!" Yuri said snickering. "Keith and you decide that yous didn't wanna go through life alone?"

"That's the sum of it." Keith said joining the group. "What say we all go out for a drink?"

"Good idea!" Yuri said and they went to the pub.

=End chapter twelve.

Well, I tried to get this on the net the last night, and ff.net was down so…..well um, at least I got to proof read this!


	13. meet the parents

Well holloween break is upon us, Sis' birthday is on the fourth, we made a new account on Eircom, and we've typed two chappies up of our new fic as well as modifying this fic and making two chapters of this as well, and we have a slight writer's block too. I should inform you that often sis types up bits of the fics when I'm snowed under with homework. You see I'm a year ahead of Rex, eventhough we're the same age and I get shit loads of homework! She's the one who came up with twinkle twinkle keithy bat…also, neither of us own the characters in this story, we're just borrowing them for a while. We have been suffering withdrawal symptoms….

Alice in wonderland.

_chapter thirteen_

It had been a few weeks since Rouen, and Yuri was sitting in the Eliot's living room with Mr. and Mrs. Eliot staring down at him. He gulped nervously as Alice sat beside him and held onto his hand.

"Mother, father, this is Yuri Hyuga, my fiancé. We're getting married in two weeks." Alice said. "He's the one I was bethroved to before my birth remember?"

Alice's mother nodded. "Ah yes, young prince Yuri. Happy to see you are well."

Yuri nodded, "I am very pleased to meet my future parents in law finally. I have heard such wonderful things about you from your daughter."

"Oh my…" Mrs. Eliot blushed, "I'm quite pleased to hear that you are happy to meet us."

"I can't say I'm not nervous though," Yuri said, "But I want to take this opportunity to say that I have caught quite a prize with your Alice and I will promise to treat her right and protect her."

Mr. Eliot looked at Yuri and closed his eyes. "How are your parents?"

Yuri looked own, "They died shortly after my tenth birthday, fighting Dehuai."

Mrs. Eliot winced at the mention of his name.

"But when he got Alice, I went to all lengths to save her, which we did as you can see, and then we all fought against him and beat him with everything we had, Wonderland was badly destroyed though, and I had gone berserk after fusing with the beast he had summoned, but he paid for all the wrongs he had committed through his life."

"That's good." Mr. Eliot said. "What type of wedding is it going to be?"

Alice poured her and Yuri a cup of tea and offered her mother a biscuit. "Would you like one too father? Oh okay then."

Yuri took a sip of his tea and smiled at Mr. Eliot. "Oh, it'll be a plain affair, We shall have it in Bistritz and there will only be me, Alice, you and your lovely wife I hope and our comrades, the ones who helped me rescue Alice, and a priest. Then We will have chicken broth, followed by a roast dinner, with a nice bit of cake for desert. Then You can stay the night in the blue castle and go home later on the next morning."

"Of course, our good friends who live in the blue castle and were kind enough to allow us have the wedding there are Vampires, so don't be all exorcist type people there okay, Keith and Margarete, our best friends and the vampires who own the castle, will have the ghosts and bats and whatnot sedated so that all will go off calmly as you can get it." Alice said dipping her biscuit into her tea.

"That's good." Mrs. Eliot said. "Would you like to spend the night here or will you be heading back to your inn?"

"Um, heading back to the inn if it's alright with you. All our clothing is there and the others will be worrying." Alice said, "My lord, it's getting rather dark and all!"

"We'd best head off now then, if we want to be back there by nightfall." Yuri said, "Sorry if it seems we're running off on you, it was wonderful being here it's just, Alice and I hate travelling in the dark. An old habit of ours you see." Yuri stood up and shook Mr. Eliot's hand and then took Mrs. Eliot's hand into his own and kissed the back of it courteously. "I had a marvellous time visiting you today. I am looking forward to the wedding more now that I know I'm marrying into such a benevolent, polite family."

"The pleasure was ours your highness." Mrs. Eliot said, "We'll see you all soon."

"We'd recommend that you go to Prague on Saturday and then get a carriage from there to Bistritz, otherwise it shall be a two day hike." Alice said hugging them both goodbye. "I hope to see you both in good form soon!"

Yuri and Alice then went on their way to the inn. Yuri put his arm around Alice lovingly as she talked feverishly about how he would have to make himself scarce around her when she was shopping for her gown. Yuri cupped her chin in the palm of his hand and she fell slient.

"Alice, I love you. You know that don't you?"

"I do Yuri. That's because I love you too."

Yuri held her close to him and he kissed her on the lips adoringly. After parting from the kiss Alice snuggled into yuri's warmth. "Yuri? Can we pull the beds together for tonight?"

"Sure thing!" Yuri said grinning.

They both continued down the road towards the inn.

=end of chapter thirteen.

Kitty found all of that fluff at the bottom of her bed! You see, our beds have these mad fuzzy blankets and they make loads of fluff at the bottom of the bedsheet. Well anyway, It feels soo good to be back in the net again! Chapter fourteen contains imagery that had occurred at our bigger sister, Maria's wedding on the 17th. Well, as much as Sis can remember because I was asleep through most of it and she was pissed at the afters so……

Well thank you to all of the reviewers, if you have any questions I will try my best to answer them for you.


	14. Alice's death, singalong, visit from reg...

Well here's Chappie 14! This is actually Kitty Typing at the moment coz Sis is at school an' I'm home coz it's ma birthday!!! I may go back onto neoseeker when I'm posting this up for Darkness. She has a loada study to do…I remember that my self coz I did it last year. If Chibon thought I was flaming then wait till he sees me new toy! ::pulls out high power flame thrower:: Darkness was sayin that it's gotten rilly quiet there… well Even if I get booted off there I'll have done it with style, fighting for the right to spam! If you wanna give me a nice present, a few nice reviews would be loved… darkness is gonna kill me for saying this but…. Her birthday is on the 13th of March, so Rex and I are gonna dump a bucket of eggs on her as a prank. Oh and I've changed the plan so I'm gonna go to the scene in the inn room, and then Darkness will more than likely take up where she left off.I don't own none of the characters as neither does my sister. And I also don't own the snipet of the song 'true voice' (plus one on the shadow hearts original soundtrack plus one album). I said I would do a tad of explianing for her but I haven't seen the reviews before so I'll go over what she's done and see what's most confusing kay?

Alice in Wonderland.

_Chapter fourteen_

Alice fixed the blankets as Yuri removed his shirt. Alice's long white nightgown billowed around her legs as she went from here to there. "So, why'd you ask for the beds to be put together, I always thought of you as a very moral girl." Yuri said removing his trousers.

"I don't really know, I just…uhhh….no I can't even explain that…" Alice said. Her normally light blue eyes had become darker, more michevious since that day in the graveyard. Yuri snickered, he now understood her sudden behaviour change, she had taken on some of his karma in accepting the affliction, and that meant she had become that bit more like him…

"So what was with the 'I'm sooo posh' routine?" Alice asked jumping into the bed. Yuri got into the bed beside her as he smirked, "Well, I wanted to make sure your parents liked me and so I done that, and besides if we don't get their blessing…"

"What?"Alice said looking worried.

"How can we have our special night?" Yuri said with a lopsided grin on his face, "That's the only part I'm really looking forward to…um, apart from the bit with me getting to spend the rest of my life with you but don't we need to…ya know…consumate the whole thing…"

"Seal the deal so to speak?" Alice finished off for him, "I know that. But…uh….oh, nevermind…." Alice said as she lay down on the pillow. Yuri shurugged and yawned, then also going to sleep. But Alice wasn't sleeping…

Alice sat up in the bed and looked down at Yuri. 'What's with all these feelings, these..._urges_?'

Then something came over her. "Heh heh, wonder if he would mind if I just…" As she reached down to touch his stomach Yuri's eyes shot open. "Ohh…"

Yuri held onto her looking at her in the dim moonlight. "Are you…okay?"

Alice leaned forward and kissed Yuri, Yuri shut his eyes and relaxed his grip. Alice moved away after a few moments and looked at Yuri with a set of unfamiliar eyes. "Hold me."

"Alice? You sure you're okay?" Yuri said, "What's going on?"

"There's not much time left Yuri, So I _need_ to feel you…"Alice looked at him with a look of fear, "I hear them…"

Meanwhile….

"How is Joachim doing?" Margarete asked, "Where abouts is he now?"

"He said that he was just visiting Budapest and is moving onto thailand. He is on a world trip aparently. He said he was going to make up for all the time as a bat." Keith replied. "And Leon said that everyone back home is doing good. Maria is tidying up the castle for the wedding as we speak."

"She's awake?" Margarete said, "I thought that-" Keith yawned interupting her.

"Sorry my love but can't we be having a little more fun?" Keith said, "Maybe doing…"

Margarete grinned and produced a bottle of red wine. "This do?"

Keith took out two glassses and chuckled, "You know me all too well."

Sometime later…

Alice's head rested on Yuri's bare chest as the sunlight started to peep through the curtains. She just lay there motionless….almost as if she was dead…..

"mmmmmmh, Wake up honey." Yuri said trying to sit up. "Alice? Alice? Baby?"

Alice's lifeless head tossed back and forth as Yuri shook her. "Alice? Alice? Alice! ALICE! AAAALIIIIIIICE!!!!" He let her lifeless body slump towards him, he sobbed heavily as he rocked her corpse back and forth, "NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOOH! Alice…"

Margarete ran in with an angry face on her. "What is-" She looked at Yuri and Alice. "Yuri?"

"We had made love last night, and when I woke up jus' now….how did this…I…I swore to protect her Margie!" Yuri said the tears pouring down his face. "What will I do?"

Margarete's face went pale and she closed the door, "First off you need to get clothes on you and her, then we get and ambulance, you tell them what you know and then we get to her parents. Come on, no time for modesty sonny boy!"

"We were getting married next week….we were gonna start our own little family and we were…." Yuri stopped getting dressed Margarete stopped dressing Alice and looked at Yuri worriedly. Alice had her undewear on and her skirt and bustier Yuri stood in the middle of the room wearing his trousers and took a deep breath, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" He let out a pained cry that made everybody run in.

"Oh god no…" Koudelka said, "She's been taken."

In the shadow world, where everybody's 'spirit worlds' are…..

Alice looked up at the masks. "Let me go."

"Oh hoho…." The staff mask said, "No."

A bolt of black energy hit her and sent her flying into the place she had found Yuri digging his grave.

__

' The laws of the divine trinity. Rule one: No pregnant women may have their souls taken.

Rule two: In acceptance of name and blood the woman shall be affliced with the curse so therefore any soul contract shall be void.

Rule three:The pure of spirit may be able to recive an anullment from any soul contract if the contract was made in a selfless act.'

"What?" Alice stood up and looked around. Albert Simon stood there and smiled at her. "You!"

"No worries my lamb, I am here to aid you now." Albert said, "And now that I am deceased, you need not worry about me."

"Was that you?" Alice asked, "Saying the rules of the trinity"

Albert nodded, "Indeed, well, the ones that may help you. You see, Rule three was ignored by the masks, but you did make that soul contract to save another human soul, for whom you felt indebted to help after he had saved you. You were to take on his name, and you carry his very blood now."

"Pardon?" Alice asked, "Are you trying to say that I am.."

"That I am, Call them with your very voice." Albert said, "Sing, shout talk, pray, no matter what you do they shall come."

"Uhm, maybe I'll try singing a bit of the song I made up with Margie.."

"Go on, before you're buried!!"

"Ahem…Say yeah, if you feel the beat. I'm singing forever for you. I know your everything, I'm no human being. Right now you need my true voice…." Nothing happened. "I thought you said it would work."

"Do it again maybe, a little louder, and then ask for the, that might work."

"Say yeah, if you feel the beat. I'm singing forever for you. I know Your evrything, I'm no human being, right now you need my true voice…Albert, it's no working, what'll you sugest next, me shoutinmg here dear trinity, I need thy Help!!?"

Regina the fire goddess appeared, "Sorry the trinity couldn't come right now, they're trying to kill your great grand children. You'll have to have me instead, good singing by the way."

"Uh, thank you…um, Regina?" Alice looked at the fire goddess nervously, "How do you know about my-"

"Oh, I was helping them. Your great granddaughter is one heck of a warrior, so you need my help yeah?" Regina siad, "Oh I should use the dialouge of this time period, sorry if you didn't know what I was on about, I was speaking some of the dialouge of the early twentyfirst century."

"Oh, um, I need you to get my soul free, I'm marrying Yuri and we've concived and the masks took my soul away this morning." Alice said, "And I was to get married to Yuri next week by the way."

"Easy." Regina said, she took Alice's hand and they walked up to the masks…..

In the real world…

Yuri looked down at his dead lover. A tear fell from his eye and slpahed on her lips as he bent down to kiss her. Mr. And Mrs. Elliot watched as Yuri's kiss suddenly became more intense. Alice's hand suddenly shot up and she began to sit up. Yuri pulled back form the kiss and Alice opened her eyes. She wore a lposided grin as Yuri helped her to her feet. "That's the masks sorted." She said, "So, what day is it?"

=End of chapter fourteen.

Okay, Ye who wondered why Yuri was reluctant to say yes:

Yuri: "Would you be willing to suddenly say yes I'll spend the rest of my llife with you to a person who in a short space of time has yelled at you, attacked you, and had you spend at least five seconds in the same room as Meiuan? I didn't think so."

Alice: "Why you!" ::Chases Yuri around the room with a bible::

Ye who has wondered why I killed Albert:

Albert: "I was to be there to aid Alice in her escape from the graveyard.

Alice: "And that was the only song we could come up with because Kitty has it blaring in the background."

And why Alice had become that bit like Yuri in a certain regard:

Yuri:"KARMA!!!! Heh, I'm kinda relived that I don't have to wait for the wedding anyway…"

Everybody had to do their own thing anyway, Keith and Zhuzhen had to save the twon because well you've played the game haven't you? And little Halley had to find out where they could find Margarete. Besides, this isn't game related anyway so she'd prolly be as strong as you had her when killing the meta god. And besides, she can heal herself with items and magic, Yuri can't plus, wev'e tried out using a bible as a weapon. It hurts…trust Rex…. I didn't like her shadow hearts outfit so that's why she had the outfit change. It was to show how much more powerful she had gotten…


	15. Sing along intermission

For a slight intermission, bringing us up to the weeding of yuri and Alice I decided to write my own version of the Shadow hearts song. I didn't put in the words "Shadow Hearts" so I won't be sued, thuis isn't a translation so don't go by it and finally, if Ariescelestial (Did I get it right this time?) Is reading, I used " Shadow Souls" In the words at the end of it, I'm not ripping him/ her off, I just thought it would fit in with the theme of this song. Enjoy!

Star in the sky, calling to me

Telling me all of my fate.

Listen to me, key to my heart

I've been a stupid child.

My memorys, haunting my dreams 

Lingering like smoke.

Listen to me, effigy of my soul

I've been a foolish one indeed.

Never listening to what you said, head in the clouds, ignoring the signs.

I'm paying for my mistakes with regret.

Memorys become nightmares. Living in a dream filled with pain.

Keep me warm my Kitsune.

Shadowed thoughts make my head implode.Shadows…

It has to end, before I lose my mind.

Stumbling through the room of the fates.

Tearing at the threads of the ones I love.

Taking them form myself.

Key to my heart, listening to me.

It's time I said farewell.

I'll spread my wings and join the sky.

Though that may sound corny to you.

I've been a fool all through my life. Ignoring you, ignoring the signs.

Paying for those acts with my blood. Memorys still scarring me.

Your departure won't stop hurting. Eaten alive by bitter pain.

Keep me warm, fire in my soul. In shadows…

Memorys are a painful reminder. I never took heed, always rushed in.

Paying for your death with my life. Eaten alive by memorys.

Living in a dream, filled with pain.

Keep me warm my kitsune.

Shadowed dreams scarring my soul. Shadows…

Shadow souls is what's left of you. My Shadows…

~~~~ ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~ ~~~~~~~

Well, That's the intermission done, that's the first song I wrote!! Well anyway I made up that song by using english words that sounded like what they were singing, then altered it to fit together and then sang it out along with the real song and took off the wrods that would ruin it. And if you had that song playing in the background and sung this, you might find it works out as well as you can be able to get for someone as untalented as me. Sorry about my sister, she only wanted to help, and the first bit is okay, I'll do a new chapter fourteen now.


	16. the real chapter 14, the wedding of Yuri...

I put in that nice intermission so I could beat the shit outta Kitty for doing that chapter. Well anyway, here's the real chapter fourteen. Oh and seeing as most questions were answered in that travesty of a mockery of a sham…I'll read the reviews later and get more questions. This has to end soon, I think. What do you lot think?

Alice in Wonderland.

_Chapter fourteen_

Alice fixed the blankets as Yuri removed his shirt. Alice's long white night-gown billowed around her legs as she went from here to there. "So, why'd you ask for the beds to be put together, I always thought of you as a very moral girl." Yuri said removing his trousers.

"I don't really know, I just…uhhh….no I can't even explain that…" Alice said. Her normally light blue eyes had become darker, more michevious since that day in the graveyard. Yuri snickered, he now understood her sudden behaviour change, she had taken on some of his karma in accepting the affliction, and that meant she had become that bit more like him…

"So what was with the 'I'm sooo posh' routine?" Alice asked jumping into the bed. Yuri got in to the bed beside her as he smirked, "Well, I wanted to make sure your parents liked me and so I done that, and besides if we don't get their blessing…"

"What?" Alice said looking worried.

"How can we have our special night?" Yuri said with a lopsided grin on his face, "That's the only part I'm really looking forward to…um, apart from the bit with me getting to spend the rest of my life with you but don't we need to…ya know…consummate the whole thing…"

"Seal the deal so to speak?" Alice finished off for him, "I know that. But…uh….oh, nevermind…." Alice said as she lay down on the pillow. Yuri shrugged and yawned, then also going to sleep. But Alice wasn't sleeping…

Alice sat up in the bed and looked down at Yuri. 'What's with all these feelings, these..._urges_?'

Then something came over her. "Heh heh, wonder if he would mind if I just…" As she reached down to touch his stomach Yuri's eyes shot open. "Ohh…"

Yuri held onto her looking at her in the dim moonlight. "Are you…okay?"

Alice leaned forward and kissed Yuri, Yuri shut his eyes and relaxed his grip. Alice moved away after a few moments and looked at Yuri with a set of unfamiliar eyes. "Hold me."

"Alice? You sure you're okay?" Yuri said, "What's going on?"

"Yuri, I _need_ to feel you…"Alice looked at him with a look of lust, "I want you…"

Meanwhile….

"How is Joachim doing?" Margarete asked, "Where abouts is he now?"

"He said that he was just visiting Budapest and is moving onto Thailand. He is on a world trip apparently. He said he was going to make up for all the time as a bat." Keith replied. "And Leon said that everyon7e back home is doing good. Maria is tidying up the castle for the wedding as we speak."

"She's awake?" Margarete said, "I thought that-" Keith yawned interrupting her.

"Sorry my love but can't we be having a little more fun?" Keith said, "Maybe doing…"

Margarete grinned and produced a bottle of red wine. "This do?"

Keith took out two glasses and chuckled, "You know me all too well."

The next week…

Alice looked up and saw Margarete flapping about with streamers in her grasp. She was squeaking out a little tune and Sharon had begun to summon baby wind shears, who were under her full control, to clean the great hall. Koudelka sighed impatiently, Alice blushed and stood still.

"Thank you." Koudelka said in a sleepy monotone. "Ugh, I wonder how the men are going?"

…In camp Yuri…

Yuri tugged at his bow tie nervously. "I hate suits." Halley lay sprawled over the couch in the room with his bow tie untied and falling off his neck as he snored his little brain out. Kieth was polishing his sword and Edward was trying to convince Roger Bacon to do the ceremony.

Zhuzhen sat down reading a tome trying not to laugh at Yuri's constant whines. "Oh, kiddo, I forgot to mention, that I have invited someone."

"Who?" Yuri asked taking a sip of vodka.

"OH YUUUUUURIIII!!!!! You look sooooo hunky in that suit!"

"Pfffffft!" Yuri spat out his alcoholic beverage and looked at Meiuan. "Who invited you?"

"I did." Zhuzhen said plainly. Yuri pointed to Zhuzhen and then to the door, when he and Yuri were outside….

"I TOLD you, NO MEIUAN!!!!!" Yuri yelled, "I'm nervous enough as it is without the knowledge of having that psychopathic homosexual acupuncturist at my wedding!"

Alice…..

"Alice honey!!"

"Angel puss!"

"Mother, Father…."

Alice looked lovely in her long white ball gown dress with a white lace wrap and long white fingerless gloves.

"My lord dear, you've glowing!" Alice's father said.

"Heh, must be the make up." Koudelka said.

"No, not that kind of glow, I see it too, a more maternal kind of glow…" Allice's mother looked at her daugter.

'How can that be, it's only been a week!' Alice looked at koudelka nervously, "I'm really nervous, it might be sweat." 

Her parentts were about to say something else on that matter but Margarete decided to save Alice and she landed on the floor in her bat form and changed into her human form.

"My lord!" The Eliots yelled as Alice and Margarete exchanged significant looks.

"This is missus Margarete Valentine. My best friend." Alice said.

Sometime later…

Roger stood there impatiently at a makeshift altar tapping his foot. "You'd think that they would be on time, seeing as they are staying in the venue? I swear plonker. If you are trying to make a fool of me…"

"I'm not!" Edward said defiantly, "the bride is always late!"

The word shit echoed through out the hall for a few seconds until 'here comes the bride' drowned it out.

"I'm going to kill Leon…" Keith said as Alice moved up to Yuri's left side.

"Right, seeing as we've all arrived let's get started.." Roger said.

=End chapter 14, part three.

That was better yes? I kept the first part of kitty's daft seeing as that was good but I've changed the end of that chapter to this, and it's much better yes?

Part four: "Look happy you bastard, we won, didn't we?" An insight to the adventures of the Hyuga and Valentine kids…. Well, sorta….

Well I think Ariescelestial's first two children for Yuri and Alice are great so I'll leave them to be the older kids, but I won't actually mention them in this, The oldest is 28, the second oldest is 26 ½. We'll be looking at Ruth Hyuga aged 19 and Ben Hyuga the second aged 15, and also Mariah and Maximilian Valentine aged 16 and 14. We'll be at the valentines, trying to sneak off to Nemeton… 


	17. A 'special night', but for who exactly?

Okay, I sucked at keeping this updated but hey, I've been busy! Well changed my mind…no kiddies just yet instead some halley/chris fuzz and of course tha partay!

Alice in Wonderland.

_Chapter fifteen_

Halley looked at Chris from across the table. Chris smiled at him and his pulse raced. "Christine, can you pass the bread, mmm..soup…ghahhhhhhhwllll…" 

Alice hit Yuri on her head, "Yuri Bort Hyuga, don't be doing that anymore. "With a baby on the way we will not have it inherit your bad habbits…"

"Awww, Ally…"

"Yuri…"

"Ahh, like they were married for years!" Keith joked, "At least Margie-"

"Keith. No more calling me that." Margarete growled.

"At least my wife and I 'understand' eachother…" Keith finished with his eyes as slits.

Leon looked at his brothers and sisters, "Trouble in paradise?"

"Hell if I know…" Maria said, "Ohh…sooo sleepy…sniff….."

"So go to your bed darest, and put some ear muffs on…." Stephen said simply, "I'll fill you in."

"Thank you father." Maria said before standing up and curtseying "I was plaesed to attend your nuptuals…"

Yuri smiled. "Well, let's have some fun already, I'm gettin' pissed off with the nicetys! I wanna dance!"

Alice smirked and grabbed Yuri's hand, "Hit it Leo!"

Leon nodded and started playing some lively music and Everyone except for Alice's parents got up and danced. Koudelka and Edward began twirling around the dance floor and Yuri and Alice swung eachother around the floor. Keith and Margarete got the booze flowing and Zhuzhen began to regret asking Meiuan to the wedding as the psycho was trying to get upon him.

Halley and Chris danced side by side lauhging at Zhuzhen's misfortune and occasioinally sneeked some alcohol into their systems. At the end of the night Eveybody was recked and they went to bed. One problem, Halley had no room to himself, he had to share with Chris.

As they _tried_ to divide the bed, Halley groaned….this was to be a looong night….

He saw a flash of Chris' breast he graoned in agony as his loins stirred again….oh yes for him it was gonna be hell!


	18. Sex, drink, and songs from other games!

It's been a while but here we are, the newest chapter of Alice in wonderland!!! As you know, I own none of these characters and I am not making any profit off this, otherwise I could have a copy of shadow hearts of my own and then get shadow hearts two as soon as it comes out. Now where did sis leave our poor Halley again???

-kitty.

Alice in wonderland.

_chapter 16???_

[Halley's pov, the bedroom before dawn]

I felt a lump in my throat. My body was stiff, of course, another part of my anatomy was extra stiff. You could see me standing at attention under the sheets! I got worse as the minutes passed, because Chris snuggled into me. A light groan passed my lips. I hadn't got a drop of sleep with my girlfriend in here beside me, how do couples do it? How do they fight off the urges to ravish their partner then and there without losing an ounce of sleep? That's all that was in my head, the thought of me towering over her form, grinding my hips against hers in a primal rhythm…oh god just the thought is making me hurt…it's gotten so bad my erection is sore!

"Mmmm,"

I looked down at her face, she seems so peaceful, so happy in her dream, I don't want to disturb her while she's at peace. But what can she be dreaming about?

"Halley…."

She's dreaming about me? What am I doing that's so good?

"Don't stop…."

Don't stop what? Come on wench spill it!

"You're so…"

So what? I'm so what? What am I doing?

"Harder!"

Harder? How can I get harder thanks to you? Damnit woman, don't get so close otherwise I will have you right here, right now!

""Don't stop making love to me!"

Making love? What the fuck is she? A chick- wait, forget I asked that one, it's a stupid question…Oh well at least one of my questions are answered. I'm so what Chris? Well?

I must be good in her dreams, otherwise she wouldn't look as satisfied as she is right now!

Well she's dreaming about what I'm thinking about, so why not have a little taste? Yes, just a little peek…

[Normal POV in the throne room.]

Leon leaned forward to face Keith, "I'm tellin Yoush, Joachim is a queer!"

"So?" Maria said grumpily, "I know plenty of homosexuals and they are all lovely people."

"Sho? I'm jush shayin that he ish, or I fink he ish!"

Keith closed his eyes. He could imagine Joachim wearing an outfit you'd picture Margarete in, truly disturbing. Keith was the only one who knew of Joachim's profession, a wrestler. And the fact that he's bisexual. Yet Joachim's twin was relentless, and pissed off his face so, "Keef! Ish he gaaaaay or naaght!?"

"Leeeooon!" Maria yelled throwing a pillow at her older brother's head. "Shut up!"

"I'm jush shayin!" Leon put his hands up defensively, swaying slightly as he did so. Keith downed a whole bottle of wine in one go. Sighing he staggered up to his feet and dropped to his knees pulling two roses out of nowhere.

"Fuck. Here he goes again!" Maria cried out putting her hands over her ears.

"No not that old pershon'sh shong!" Leon screamed.

"You're giving me too many things, lately, you're all I need and more. You smiled at me and said, don't get me wrong I love you but does that mean I have to meet your father? When we are older you'll understand what I meant when I said no, I don't think life is quite that simple. When you walk away you don't hear me say please oh baby, don't go. Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight it's hard to let it go. Hold me. Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on. Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all. Nothing's like before. Hold me. Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on. Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all. Nothing's like before."

"Holy crap! It's different!!! And cool sounding!!!" Maria shouted over the butchering of a pretty decent song.

(A/N: I don't own these lyrics. It's simple and clean, the theme to Kingdom hearts one!! The only squaresoft game I'll play! Squall calls himself Leon now, he's trying to be like Leon!!!!)

Keith continued, bats also coming out of thin air and circling him, "The daily things that keep us all busy, are confusing me, that's when you came to me and said, Wish I could prove I love you, but does that mean I have to walk on water. When we are older you'll understand it's enough when I say so, and maybe some things are that simple. When you walk away you don't hear me say please, oh baby, don't go. Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight. It's hard to let it go. Hold me. Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on. Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all. Nothing's like before. Hold me. Whatever lies beyond this morning is a little later on. Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all. Nothing's like before."

Silence enveloped the room when Keith finished and the roses and bats vanished as mysteriously as they appeared.

"Sho, whaaaadddyaaa fiinnk?" Keith slurred sauntering back to his chair. Leon clapped like a seal while Maria turned around and looked at Margarete in horror. "Why haven't you spoken sis?"

Margarete uncrossed her legs and opened her mouth and began to speak, in the loudest, most common, French accent you will ever hear. But for the author's sake, we will be using proper English. "Because, I'm too pissed to remember to cover up my commoner roots!"

"What the hell? When did Keith's wife become so common?" Came a voice from the doorway.

"I've always been common, but I never was too drunk to forget to cover up that until now!"

Everybody turned to face the new guest. And there he was, a vision of spandex and dreadlocks.

"Joachim! Are you GAAAAAY???" Leon shouted running up and hugging his twin.

"No, unlike you I'm straight!" Joachim smirked, "So, anybody even slightly sober in this room to have a proper talk with? Or can I just get pissed too?"

Just as he finished a beer bottle was hurled at his head, he being used to that move caught it like, uh hold on, :snaps fingers:, THAT!

"I heard singing. Was it Keith?" He asked opening the bottle. "Sounded good, the song I mean, not Keith, better than that, I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, crap."

(A/N: I do not own that evil devil song that the devil and his little cronies sing on TV. Thanks be to god!)

[Back in Halley's house of love.]

Halley lay flat on his back catching his breath. "You were no virgin Chris."

"But I'm, I only did what I did in my dream." She replied. 

"So, was I as good in real life as I was in the dream?" He asked.

"Better."

"In real life of the dream?"

"The dream- REAL LIFE YOU DOLT!!!"

[Zoozie's house of love.]

"Meiuan. No please put the vibrator down, no help…DEHUAAAAAAAIIIIIII!!!!! SSSAAAAAAVVVEEE MEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

For the sake of the children, I dare not go into the scene that followed.

[The honeymooners.]

"Wait a minute!" Yuri yelled, "Baby on the way? What did you mean by that?"

"When did I say that?" Alice said reading her book.

"At dinner, you told me not to be acting like that at the table because we have a baby on the way and you didn't want it to have me as a bad influence!" Yuri said.

"You only realized what I said now?" Alice said with disbelief, "You are so slow!"

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"You SO are!"

"So, what did you mean?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh sweet merciful…..Oh sweet damnation!"

It is at this point Yuri faints in true drama queen style…

"Yuri? Yuri? Oh for crying out loud! Get up you lazy fuck!"

It is then Mrs. Hyuga kicks her husband in the stomach making him squeak.

[Meanwhile downstairs…]

Keith, Joachim and Leon are having a competition involving swinging from the chandeliers. Margarete is passed out on the sofa, Maria is throwing up and the moldy skeleton that Margarete is convinced perves on her in the bathtub is refereeing the contest between the Valentine brothers.

"I'm going faster!" Leon shouted.

"I'm going higher!" Joachim yelled back.

Keith smirked and called back to his older brothers, "Yeah, well like in most other things, I'm going to last longer!"

It was then a small bat flew in and crashed hitting the younger vampire in the face.

"Abel!" He shouted.

Said bat fell down on top of skellie (That's what we'll call the skeleton, or maybe bill…Yeah, Bill sounds better…) Well, anyways, Abel transformed while landing, crushing Skellie under his weight because he is fat. In fact so fat that the others (he's the first born by the way…) call him 'Porky Abel'., 'Abel', or just 'Porky'.

"So, what did I miss?" He said, a stupid look plastering his stupid fat face.

= End chapter.

The very last chapter will have Le Fin (eez over!) at the end. And me telling you to piss off telling me to continue with it because **_EEZ OVER!!!_** But that won't be there yet. Not for another two chappies at least!

*Random spraff!*

I'm the 2nd youngest in my Family, here are me and my siblings in the order of birth:

John. Vincent. Maria. Me. Darkness. (As if I'd give me and Darkness' real names away without her permission. Wha? Kay sis.)

John, Vincent, Maria, Caroline, Daphne.

Anyways, Vincent's nickname for John is 'Porky John.' That's where I got Abel's nickname from. Vincent's nickname is Je-hobo. Why? Well, my family is catholic (gasp!) And Vincent changed to the Jehovas witnesses. No offence to any of yous out there but, we call him that to piss him off and we say he spits shit out of the side of his Je-hole. Well actually it's John who says that. Maria's nickname is fu-fu, because she's a little bitch…you know bitch is a female dog and what we use it for every day, Me and Darkness have evaded any such nicknames and we have no nicknames for the others otherwise we'd get beat up, well I called Maria mushroom head when I was smaller because she had that pudding bowl haircut. And my brothers called her dearth Vader…. Yeah…good times that…

*End random spraff*

Yuri: _You? Catholic?_

Yeah, what about it?

Alice: **My god**, the world, it ends!

Jus' 'cause I'm not well, _devout_ like Father O'biggot over there, :Points to mangled corpse of James #1:, doesn't mean I'm not one. Oh husband beating one. Well back to the story, what did you think of Halley? He kinda sounded like a Hentai, didn't he? And what did you think of Joachim's introduction? _'And there he was, a vision of spandex and dreadlocks.'_

Look at his picture, then read my intro for him! I am sooo right!!! I was looking at the picture for ages looking for a suitable humorous but realistic intro.

Yuri: _You catholic?_

****

My god, you _are_ slow Yuri!

Yuri: Me? Slow? Why say me slow?

Because, slow, you are, he that fuses.

Alice: You do a shit impersonation of Yoda.

I know, but the little green dude rocks. That's why I'm so fond of Roger, he reminds me of Yoda!

Roger: I **do**?

:Nods:

Roger: _Embark on dangerous journey, you will_. Hee hee, I do! I'm off to make a light saber!

Make me one too, while yer at it!

Roger: Make light saber for you I shall!

__

Yeeee!! Let's paint roger green! Then he'll be Yoda for _real_!!!

Alice: How much sugar did she get today?

Yuri: **A lot**_. Kitty? Catholic?_

Alice: Ah, get over it! See, he's **not stupid**, just can't remember worth shit!

Why does Yuri squeak here but doesn't in the game when he's hit?

Alice: Oh he _did_ squeak in the game too, but everybody just said it was me and that I'm the squeaky one. But _now_ you know the _truth_!! It's my husband!

Really? Hahaha Yuri, or should I say….**_SQUEEKY_**!!!! Oh, it sucks to be you!!!

Yuri: _Why you_…. :gets ready to attack.:

Alice: :hits him with a bible:

Yuri: :squeaks:

Alice: Now you're married to me, _I'm_ the boss! And _you're_ my _byatch_!

Yuri: :Terrified: Yes master… :bows:

Alice: What? I spent time chatting to Foxie!

:Over happy: Leave a review and the dentist will stay away from me with his nasty evil demon drill!!! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! :Bounces off walls:

Alice: CAAAAAAROLIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!

Yes miss ma'am, I mean Missus ma'am , I mean Missus Hyuga, Alice…. :sweatdrops:

Darkness: God, _somebody's_ hormonal! Who knew sis could pull off a remotely decent, long chapter?


	19. The morning after the night before

This will be shorter than the last chapter, but it won't be a bad one. I think the story has lost it's cuteness and is gone into gutter humor, not that you mind right? It's a bit more grown up with innuendoes if any, sexually orientated scenes and curses, as well as other big peoples things. How ever, even knowing the fact that I have no ownership of or profit from these character I hope you enjoy my story! Lewis Carroll would be turning around in his grave right now….

-kitty.

Alice in wonderland.

_chapter 17???_

[Halley's room.]

"Come on Chris, our carriage will be leaving soon!" Halley tapped his foot. "What takes a girl so long to get dressed?"

"Ready!" 

"**_FINALLY!!!_**"

The two teens ran downstairs to meet up with Halley's parents.

[Zhuzhen.]

God help this poor old bastard, he lies in a fetal position in a dark corner of the room where his friends are meeting up for a farewell. "don't come near me." Is the mantra he weeps. Yuri notices his distress and joins him to see what is wrong. 

"Whassup?" Yuri says slinging an arm around the old man. "Pervert's lookin' for ya."

Zhuzhen whimpered, "Don't let him near me!"

"Why? Yuri said, "I thought you were friends with him."

"So did I until last night. But when I was meditating, he came into my room and, and…." At this point he breaks down crying.

Yuri gets up and goes to Meiuan. "So, Meiuan, Zhuzhen asked me to find out what you're doing after you leave here."

"Visiting relatives in Shanghai."

"Really."

"And then I'm going back to wonderland."

"Right. Bye then."

Yuri returned to Zhuzhen. "Stay away from Shanghai and Wonderland and you won't bump into Meiuan. You can stay here a day longer if you wish. I'll explain it to Keith and he won't mind. Well, once he and his family get over their hangovers.

[***_NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY RANDOMLY DIFFERENT!!!_***]

Keith's miracle hangover cure:

-2 glasses.

-2 spoons of whiskey (which ever type of spoon and whiskey you wish to use)

-A shot glass of Vodka.

-Alka seltzer.

-Irn bru.

-Water

Put the Alka seltzer into a glass. Put the 2 spoons of whiskey into the shot of Vodka and mix. Add the water to the alka seltzer. Put the mixture of whiskey and vodka into the second glass and add some Irn Bru to it. Drink the Whiskey Vodka Irn bru mix first. Wait until it hits you and then drink the alka seltzer. After a few minutes you might wish to be sick. Once you've done that You should feel better. If you still feel sore, finish off the irn bru. By then you should feel better.

****

WARNING!!!: This is not an official hangover cure so don't try it with the hope of curing your hangover. However if you do try it and it works, please notify me. I never had a hangover, actually I did once, but my mother is very strict so when I did have one I pretended to be just sick, not hungover to worm my way out of a very tricky situation…

[***_NOW BACK TO THA STORY!!!_***]

[Ye olde coffin room!]

"Maria?" Stephen said, "Are you awake? Mari? It's over."

"Wanna sleep, up all night…pissed as a newt…." Came the reply.

"Leon?"

"Me haed!"

"Margie? Keith?"

"ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….."

"Abel?"

"PORK CHOPS!"

"And the rest are still on vacation…sigh…"

"Oh, god, my head!" Joachim fell out of his coffin and rushed to a basin to be sick.

"JOACHIM! YOU'RE BACK!"

"Bleghh! Not now, Blegh, Dad, I'm, Blegh, getting sick, Blueagggghhh!"

"What were you six up to last night?"

"Getting pissed. Blegh!"

"Grrrrr, you think in the 400 years plus you'd have a bit more maturity!?"

"Nope! Blegh!"

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!"

Stephen stormed out of the room cursing about his childrens' childishness.

= End of chapter!

That was short because I want to drag it out so that my head can have some peace. And I'm hungry and running out of time to type this up before I have to go online. The hangover cure was made up out of the top of my head. This chapter should be rated R!!! ZHUZHEN RAPE! EWWWWW!

What did you think of the dialogue between Stephen and his hungover children? And now, due to popualr deman, and liking and whatnot…..HALLEY!!!

Halley: Twinkle twinkle Kiethy bat, you annoying flying rat, you had made the queen cry, now she wants your ass to fry, twinkle twinkle Kiethy bat, never piss off Margarete!

:Claps: Isn't he great!?! :Grins: Don't forget to reeview!!!


	20. Eeez OVER!

Right, this is the end of this so HA!!!!! Don't own nobody in this, sacnoth do so kiss my ass lawyers! XP

Alice in wonderland.

_chapter 18_

[Two years later, Yuri and Alice's house, next door to the Elliot's.]

Yuri flicked through the mail absentmindedly.

"Hm, bill….bill…bill…bill….Who's this bill guy? Oh look, a BILL! Bullshit…more bullshit…another couple of bills, huh?"

"What's wrong Yuri?" Alice said fixing the newborn baby's nappy (Diaper?) 

"Zhuzhen sent us a letter, he lives in Hong Kong now as an exorcist." Yuri said. "And Keithy-bat sent us a postcard from Las Vegas… Maggie has a gambling problem now… Typical, she always wants some thrill…"

"Yuri, our Daughter is awake, will you get her while I put our son to sleep?"

"Sure." Yuri said.

[London, Halley and Chris's Flat.]

"Hales! Joey needs his bottle will you get it?" Chris called.

"But I'm changing Jessie!" Halley called back.

"Yeah, but I'm bathing Kial!" Chris replied. 

"Here! I'll do it!" Sharon said closing the front door behind her. 

Halley's home was a small apartment filled with toys, books, baby clothes, adults clothes, toiletries, and in among that some furniture. 

Kial was the oldest child, conceived at Yuri and Alice's wedding, then there is Jessica and Joseph, the twins who are a few months old. Halley and Chris are married a little over a year. 

[Las Vegas.]

Margarete began to shake her fist wildly. "Come on lucky number seven!"

Keith and Leon were franticly searching for the feisty blonde French woman.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Keith and Leon ran towards the scream, Leon going, "What now?" And Keith going, "Oh shit what has she gotten herself into now!"

Margarete was found dancing around wildly by her spouse and his brother. "Margie!" Keith shouted.

"Keithy! I'm a millionairess!" 

Keith fainted. Leon stepped on his brother and linked onto his sister in law, "Say, let's cash it in and get pissed as newts again!"

"Drinking contest!"

"Yer on wench!"

"Bring it bee-hyatch!"

"Oww, my back…" Keith simply moaned following the two hell raisers.

= THE END! (eez over!)

Yep, it sucked. But it told you what happened to everyone yeah? Couldn't think of names for Hyuga's kids. So happy it's over! And yet Again.. well instead of Halley let the Drunken Valentines sing the song… Margarete's words are in the brackets and italics like _(this)_…. She just does random words… Leon does it properly… Imagine Leon squawking and Margarete sounding like an annoying five year old. I made it bigger because drunk Vampires can be somewhat loud….

"Twinkle twinkle Keithy bat, you annoying flying rat_(Ahahaha!)_, you had made the queen cry_(Wahh!)_, now she wants your ass to fry_(Bwaha!)_, twinkle twinkle Keithy bat, never piss off Margarete_(Meeeh)_!"

Thank you and good evening… This was dedicated to my sister…


End file.
